Crackity crack!
by kisaitaluvr
Summary: A inoccent team bonding activity goes horribly wrong for one Aaron Hotchner. No Specific paring! Rated T for safety!
1. Chapter 1

_**Ok so this is a CRACKFIC! Its not supposed to be taken seriously if it is its supposed to be funny. Have fun reading!**_

The team made a promise to each other that whenever they hade a week or a couple days off from work they would reserve one day for them to have what Garcia called "Team bonding". Every time they had a day of team bonding it would be at a different team members house and/or apartment. The team would get to said living quarters at around noon and they would stay over night till they saw it fit to leave.

Now it was Hotch's turn to share his apartment so once every one was gathered in the living room of Hotch's house each with a beverage ( beer, coke, water, whatever) they started to decide on what to do for their team bonding activities.

"I got one! Pick me pick me!" Garcia yelled as she stuck her hand high up in the air and started waving it around from the chair she was sitting in.

"Well don't hold back baby girl tell us!" Morgan said as he chuckled.

"We should play truth or dare!" She said cheekily as she smiled around the room.

"Garcia we aren't twelve." Reid sighed as he looked around at the expressions other his other team members.

"Pretty boy did you ever even play truth or dare when you were 12 or were you to busy playing chess?" Morgan teased as he poked at the other male sitting on the couch next to him.

"No" Reid mumbled as he blushed and pushed the offending finger away from his side.

"All the more reason to play it then!" Garcia cheered as she jumped up from her chair.

"So then any objections" Rossi inquired looking around the room to the other occupants who all shook their heads.

"Nope" "Im fine with it" "Sure why not" Those other occupants said as they all took a seat on the floor in a circle.

"Ok Rossi truth or dare" Garcia said as she smirked at one of her superiors.

"Ugh now I remember why I hated this game anyway Dare" Rossi said as he sighed.

"Make out with Hotch for 30 seconds. Oh and it has to be a French kiss!" She said smiling as Agent Rossi whose eyes had gone wide when she first said what his dare was.

"W-What its Rossi's dare not mine why do you have to punish me for his stupidity!" Hotch exclaimed as he looked with wide eyes over at Garcia.

"Oh stop being babies and just do- GO ROSSI!" Garcia Cheered as she watched Dave basically tackle Hotch onto his back and French kiss him.

After 32 seconds of non-stop Frenching each other (When Hotch didn't react at first Garcia yelled at him to go at it or they would keep doing it till they got it right) Rossi pushed himself off of Hotch and sat back down where he was seated on the floor before.

Once the make-out session was over they waited for Hotch to sit backup after about a minute he was till as tensed and still as a piece of wood. And he looked kind of like a fish cause his mouth was wide open just like his eyes.

"Oh boy I think you might have killed boss man Rossi!" Garcia said as she crawled over to Hotch and leaned over him. She just stared at him and then she poked the inside of him mouth only to have his mouth spring closed on top of her finger.

"Hotch what the hell stop biting her!" Morgan yelled as he speed-crawled over to the pair and quickly pried Hotch's mouth off of Garcia's finger.

"At least we know he's alive" Reid said sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Ok moving on Hotch Truth or dare?" Rossi said as he glanced over at the now seated upright male.

"What is this pick on Hotch day?" Hotch sighed " Fine dare."

"Dye your hair lime green!" Rossi said as he snickered at the shocked expression on his bosses face.

"I cant I don't know how to dye my hair!" Hotch said smirking.

"I'll do it! C'mon I know a great place where we can get green hair dye!" Garcia said as she hopped up and on her way out the door grabbed Hotch and her purse.

**40 minutes later and 3 boxes of lime green hair dye later!**

Garcia stepped out of the bathroom with her hair up in a ponytail and small lime green splatters all up her arm reaching just above her elbows.

"Presenting the green haired Hotchner!" She squealed as she moved out of the way for a newly dyed boss man to step out from behind her.

Once they caught a glimpse of their fearless unit chief they all burst out laughing and rolling on the floor.

"That's it no more truth or dare we're all going to bed right now!" Hotch yelled in his best authoritive voice as his face went red from a mixture of Anger and embarrassment.

"O-Ok I have just one more dare for you Hotch!" Rossi said still half chuckling.

"Fine this is the last one and then no more for the next 10 team bonding times." Hotch sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Dare you to French kiss Morgan!" Rossi said as he and every one but Morgan burst out laughing.

"NO!" Hotch said glaring at the older Italian.

"You said I could dare you one last time now do it!" Rossi said as he walked over to Hotch and literally pushed him into Morgan's lap and the angle of the push caused his mouth to land right on Morgan's open one who was just about to protest the dare.

Once they got over the shock Hotch quickly leapt off of Morgan's lap and stormed into his bedroom. Every one including Morgan burst out laughing once again at their unit chiefs distress.

**4 days later on a case in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.**

The case they were currently discussing on the plane was one of twelve kidnappings and eleven murders (they didn't find the last girl yet) of course over the past few days no one could actually look directly at their unit chief with out even a little chuckle escaping their lips. Seeing as the famously strict Aaron Hotchner now had bright green hair.

This also meant that the LEO's didn't take him seriously when they landed in Philadelphia but they had actually asked why the team had brought a not really funny clown to fill in for Agent Hotchner. Of course this made Hotch stomp off in the direction of the PD before even introducing himself.

Every single one of those team members except for Hotch swore that it was the best truth or dare game they had ever and probably will ever play.

**The end. Remember that this is a crackfic I know the characters are a little OOC but its CRACK they aren't supposed to act like themselves for the most part. READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE! DON'T LET THE WRITER IN ME STARVE FROM NOT GETTING REVIEWS!**


	2. Authors note

Ok people this is not another chapter sadly I wont be continuing this story because it was only a one shot BUT! I have made a picture that to me somewhat resembles Hotch and it has him with green hair! So should you want to see said picture just private message me and ill give you the link to it! Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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